Relationships and Relationshits

Hey there, Mike here (for real, i promise).  First of all, I understand where you’re coming from with the whole, other ppl answering questions that are meant for someone else, but you’re worrying about something that doesn’t actually happen. Whenever one of you guys asks an actual relationship/relationshit question and need advice, we answer it as best we can and if it’s specifically addressed to one of us, that person makes sure to get to it first (the others are allowed to chime in and sign their responses). In the case of your question, I haven’t been online in several days and told caitlin she could respond to it for me (notice she signed her name and didn’t pretend to be me).  

Anyways now that that misunderstanding is cleared up, I’d like to say please be respectful to everyone on this blog, both to us and to our followers.  I don’t need anyone to speak for me, as you can see from previous questions I answer. Caitlin is a great girl which is why we are still together and she did not mean to offend you or upset you in any way by answering your question for me.

 No hard feelings :) Good luck in your relationships and relationshits and if you ever need actual advice, feel free to ask.

-Mike (for real)

Well, she did end the reply back with her name, but I could have answered that question as well. The only reason I didn’t answer it was because I didn’t see it. It’s a question that all of us could have answered, but when it comes to people asking for advice, we only answer those which are specified for the certain person. Honestly, if this was a question asking for advice for men specifically, I’m sure one can notice if a girl answered instead of the guy. Don’t sweat the small things, man.

-Randi

You can pretty much tell who writes what if you focus on the words we use, how we type. Out of everyone, I give probably the most sarcastic answers. Mike usually gives the full length paragraphs and worries. Randi gives more of a laid back answer.

I really don’t understand why you’re so angry about something that isn’t even happening.

- Caitlin

Well, if the girl dating him answers, then I’m sure it’s the truth. 

-Randi

Have you never heard the Spice Girls song 2 Become 1? Learn it!

- Caitlin

Me and Mike are together. 

- Caitlin

Some fun things to do is go out to dinner, hang out at the beach, go on adventures (i.e. get lost, pull pranks on people, etc.), stay at home and watch movies, go for a weekend getaway, go to the closest city and walk around, double date, go to a strip club, go bar hopping, go to a casino, and there are many other things to do. And with whatever you do, just have fun. That’s what matters.

-Randi

Be so disgustingly adorable it pisses off all of your friends.

- Caitlin

Go fight a pack of wolves together

-Mike

I’m pretty sure they shouldn’t do that, Mike. Caitlin, let’s have a girlie date sometime soon, kay?

-Randi

Kay gurllll.

- Caitlin

your bf’s best friend, and your best friend?  so… it’s like two pairs of best friends dating? I think I’m understanding correctly.  Uhh.. well why does it bother you?  if they’re more adorable than you it could get sickening to watch all the time. if they fight all the time it’ll be stressful.  and eventually one of you is either going to break up first or get married first and since its all besties you’re all always going to have to deal with each other… hmm, na it seems like you’re entitled to being bothered by it  ^.^    from thinking about it for 5 minutes it really doesn’t seem like it’s a great idea. unless of course Everything works out fine, then that’d be awesome!

-Mike

accident?  like…  accident???  everywhere?  … O,O

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HRx49-leiRE

you mean like that??   pardon the repeated use of the word sh*t but yeah.  ummm…. WOW. well…  i guess it depends.  if he did it on purpose, either because he hated the place you guys went to or maybe he was just too lazy, then yeah i could see that being a problem. if he had food poisoning or something that made his body act beyond his own control, eh it’s not really his fault.  if you can get past it, and if you really love him that much, it shouldn’t really be a problem if it’s a once in a lifetime thing.  if you’re just getting to know him i could see where it’d be a bit weird, but hey who knows he might be really nice but really REALLY unlucky.  let me know how that goes…  best of luck! my heart goes out to the poor guy.

-Mike

aw that honestly made my day :)   and thank YOU for asking the question!

Hey thanks for the question! Sorry to hear about your troubles :(

1st let me just say (I’m not attacking you or anything, just wanted to address this a few days ago in a separate post), in my honest opinion, people should not be drinking to the point of losing control of their actions.  Especially young people, and ESPECIALLY girls.  I have no idea how old you are or your gender, I just wanted to put this out there as a warning to everyone in general. And no it’s not sexist, it’s me caring.  I’ve seen a lot and know people who have had their lives really messed up over this stuff.  There are plenty of ppl out there who would easily take advantage of someone who is drunk so please drink responsibly and be safe. 

Sorry, with that said, how close are you and your friend/bf?  In only two months it doesn’t seem like much can happen but I know that’s not always true.  If he’s head over heels for you then it will be difficult, but if you want to end it you just gotta end it. It’s not fair to either of you to drag it out.  Talk to him about it, but be mindful of how he feels. Guys have feelings too so be gentle. Tell him how it’s just been weird for you even though you love spending time with him and how you still want to be with him as a friend.   

As far as your second problem goes… hmm…  if kissing is all you did, I wouldn’t really worry about it. I know that sounds bad, but from what you said it doesn’t sound like you and your bf are really going to work, and hopefully he’s been feeling that way too.  Also, if this other guy kissed you back, then that’s his problem as well. Don’t blame yourself and think you are ruining that guy and girl’s relationship. He kissed you too so he obviously has his own relationship issues he needs to work out.  If you know the girl and you want to apologize to her and explain that it didn’t mean anything, by all means do so. Maybe she needs to know because who knows whatelse that guy is doing when he goes out. 

Back to your bf, because that’s more important, if you want to tell him about the kiss you can. You don’t HAVE to if it’s not going to be a big deal, but again idk what kind of relationship you guys have. If it’s casual and just more friendly than intimate, ehh…  but if you guys got real close, he might deserve to know, even if he doesn’t want to hear about it.    Good luck! This sounds like a real tricky situation but once you are honest and get everything sorted out you can move forward. And remember, nothing is set in stone. Your friend/bf might be hurt and there might be some distance between you two, but in time most things can heal :)  

-Mike

That’s all up to you.  I know it’s not the greatest answer but everyone is different.  Some people are more forgiving than others. If you think you can trust him after that and are willing to work towards getting over it then by all means go for it. Some people can’t let it go though and it haunts them for the rest of the relationship. If you feel in your heart it’s truly meant to be and are 100% sure about moving forward, then I’d say first start by talking about it (im sure you have already) and just get it all out now. don’t hold back and say everything you are feeling, and leave nothing inside or it will fester and build up as time goes on.  Then, just work on building up trust. He is going to have to do everything he can to let you know you are the only person for him.   How he does that is up to you. That might mean giving up some freedoms, but if he is serious about it, and if it’s what helps you feel secure at this point, it shouldn’t be a problem. So far it sounds like you guys are on the right track. Although this was his mistake, you both are going to have to put in a full effort to make things right. He will need to help you heal and show you he only wants to be with you, while you will need to be able to accept it and not hold it against him.  I’m really sorry to hear about that but I wish you both the best! If there’s anything else we can do let us know :)

-Mike

uhhhh…. hmm…  well…  if you like them before they like you, that’s usually a good indication.  if you’re someone who likes the attention or the thrill of a new person in your life it’s possible you’re just liking that second part of your question.  Think to yourself about what you like about him. if you can come up with some genuine things, or if you can’t, then you should have your answer :)

-Mike

At your service! 

DUMP HIM!!!  lol no jk… kind of… I would never tell someone to straight out leave or go out with someone, that choice is up to you. However! If he is all paranoid and stuff it’s Really not healthy and it’s going to put a Major burden on your relationship.  There is a good chance this behavior isn’t going to stop any time soon. There might be some insecurities he has and until he learns to deal with it he’s still going to act like a child with this. Please be careful, guys like that can become agressive and obsessive and it can get out of hand sometimes.

For now just do what you can to show him he can trust you, without giving him total control over you. Trust and control are two VERY different things.  Show him you love him and you don’t think of other guys. Maybe talk to other guys less if you’re someone who flirts a lot or something.  Definitely sit him down and have a serious talk about it.  Let him know you want to be with him but you can’t handle constant accusations. Be kind but firm.  This is a really tricky situation unfortunately, and a lot of couples don’t make it out of these things, or end up staying together with some very negative consequences. don’t mean to scare you or anything, just saying what i’ve seen.  If things don’t seem to be going well, look further down at my “sex or studying” post to get a feel for if you really want to continue trying or not.  Good luck with everything, and remember that communication is the key to a successful relationship, but you also need trust! 

-Mike